Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
