just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
