Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
