If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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