We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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