yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
