Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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