Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
