why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
