i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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