But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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