the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
