she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
