Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
