there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
