i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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