do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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