I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
