What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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