my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We are all done wearing pants today
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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