your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
