If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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