I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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