i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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