Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
