then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
