Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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