Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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