how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
