So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
