You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
