I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
