yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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