so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
