If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
