do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
