He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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