Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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