No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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