I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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