it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
