Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
