I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
