I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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