I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
