I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
