i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
