you guys were way drunker than both of me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
