yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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