They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
