"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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