Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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