I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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