whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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