I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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